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Still here... [Apr. 21st, 2009|10:34 pm]
[mood |sleepysleepy]

Still here, still here.

This afternoon having a nwp i had a dream. There were two tubes, one tube was normal the other was for self rightous people and was powered by thier slef righteousness. I was on the self righteous tube but it's ok as I was an old man. The problem in that going on the self righteous tube you tol a risk that you would be attacked by on of the giat teradacktylls who would smash open the roof then pluck the person who was most self righteous from the tube and eat them. They were selling tazer guns at the tube station that you could use to protect yourself - so if you thought you might be at risk you could buy one.

It's nearly Eurovision! YEAH!!!!!
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Rude? [Aug. 13th, 2008|12:26 am]
[mood |irateirate]

The following statments would be conidered rude:
"You eat too much"
"You are far too fat"
"It's fsahionable to be that fat"

However apprently that statments below are not:
"You are too thin"
"You look like you have an eating disorder"
it's fashionable to be that thin"

The last three have been said to me I did not reply with any of the above commments or with the statement "I'm not thin it's just when I'm compared to you because you're so fat that I look thin".

They were mostly made by one person who also aplauded when I ate a plate of food - fortunatly I have great self control and so did not lean over the table and punch them.

So what's the answer?

Please let me know
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Prophetic Dream? [Jul. 22nd, 2008|06:14 am]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]

I have scribed below the dream I had last night, interpretations welcome:

A 12 year old once found a baby dolphin attached to his leg by being wrapped around his ankle. "Huh, that DOlphin is never happy" he said three days later. This statement irritated the dolphin who thought "Right I'll show him" and the dolphin refused to detach itself from the boy's ankle. The boy had to live in a pool of water up to his years lying down in order to keep the dolphin alive. 12 years later the dolphin was dislodged from the boy's ankle during in storm. As opposed to being happy that he was now free he died as he could not cope with the change in circumstance. "Thus" said the dolphin "Grown up's are just like children, they cannot cope with a change in circumstance".
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I had a dream.... [Jun. 27th, 2008|10:58 pm]
[mood |distresseddistressed]

Last night I had a dream, it was a strange dream.

I dreamt that someone cut my ear off - my left one, not the whole thing just about 2/3rds of it. It really hurt. So I kept looking for the bit that had been cut off - it was very much like rubber but would not stick back on. So there I stood with 2/3 of my ear in my hand with the bit that was left on my ear weeping (for its loss). When I looked in the mirror my ears were STILL HUGE and did look wierd.

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nearly there [Jun. 25th, 2008|05:29 pm]
[mood |awakeawake]

We have neary reached all teachers favourite time of the year SUMMER HOLIDAYS! and any teacher wh tells you otherwise is lying and just trying to appear committed to thier job. What's even more amazing is I have managed to last anothery ear at school, I have been told I am hated by at least 3 children - such refreshing honesty. I am also master at picking children up after their last lesosn so they can spend time with me after school and making commments such as "I didn't know you liked me so much that youwat to spend MORE time with me" in a falsy bright voice. The best part of teaching has to be the fact you can pretend to be middle aged before your time, dance like your parents at school disco's, make unfunny jokes in class and laugh and gererally say things you KNOW will irritate the kids. My favourite is to find a kid who hates my lessons and subjects and EVERY lesson say sometihing along the lines of
" ready for another lesson  - I know you love geography" " You can't fool me, I know secretly you look foreward too it every week".

The best lesson I have learnt this year is to confuse and be creative when manging behaviour the best comment from a child "It unnerves me when she smile like that" - and so it soudl it generally means I'm at the end of my tether and am going to come up with a bizare way of sorting them out. SOmething like the following incident:
Iritating year 11 consistnatly makeing high pitched squeeking noises in class, is sent out where the following conversation happens
Me: Do you know what would happen if you did that in an exam?
Yr11: I'd be sent out of it miss
Me: Not only thatbut you would not be allowed to enter any other exams and all your papers would be ripped up. Secondly the school would probably call in a phsyciatrst as you were making funny noises. They would then wantto talk to you teachers to see if this was usual behaviour. Believe me right now you don't want them talking to me. Is that clear? 
Yr11: Yes miss
We re-enter the classroom and Yr11 is very quiet rest of lesson, I alos make sure i indicate to the rest of the class that he is mentally unstable whne he's not looking.

 Unorthadox but it worked.

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I'm Back!!! [Apr. 10th, 2007|03:12 pm]
[mood |lazylazy]

Yes time to update.

I am currently on my Easter Holidays - I love school hoildays! best part of the year. I have done many things, sleep a lot, go on the slides at the tate (faster than you think they will be), have Naomi to stay (HURRAH!), go to Cornwall for a few days with the lovely Christina (Tina to her good friends) and now a short break at home - 1 day - before I visit all grandparents. visits that will hopefully contain lots of chocolate cake and probably contain saying the same thing over and over again but slightly louder each time (not much different from work then). Here are some of the hightlights from this Easter. 

Kew Gardens
Naomi and I went to a tea shop in Kew. A spcicfic teashop that was in her book of tip top tea shops so we could tick it off (her aim is to go to all of them), the following scene occured.
We walk into the tea shop which shuts at 1pm according to the opening times, it is 12pm. The tables are empty but there are some people sitting down enjoying afternoon tea. We sit at a table. Nothing happens. 
Me: Are we supposed to order at the counter?
Naomi: I'll go and check
A while later she comes back
Naomi: Apparently someone will be over in a min.
We Wait. After a few mins a substancially sized lady with a frown on her face comes over.
Lady: We shut at 12.30
Naomi: Your card syay you are open till 1
Lady: NO we shut at 1pm.
Naomi and I: OK
Lady: What do you want?
Me: Do you have any menus?
Lady: No.
Silence. Bemused looks exchanged between Naomi and I.
Me: Can I have a coke?
Lady: (distainfull look at me) Yes
Naomi: I'll have a pot of tea and do you have any pastries?
Lady (with incredulous air that we are actually ordering despite the fact that they close in 25 mins) We have sausage rolls.
Naomi: I'll have a maid of honour
Me: Can I have a scone with jam and cream?
Lady stalks off to get order

It was very amusing. And the cakes were lovely as well. We were the lucky ones, there was a couple that came in 5 mins after us who were turned away. Obviously they are keen to do well.

Went and saw Anna and Kenny for a brief visit which involved very long conversations about neighbours - obviously Christina being AUstralian was able to give a good insight into it. We also watched a lot of the Neighbours defining moments DVD - Bliss!
I can get it down to these few brief observations:
Susan is gay
Her arms are covered in tatooes - you never see her wear short sleeves
Bring back Clive
Madge should win the award for the most drawn out death scene - a whole episode
It's Austrila's biggest export
Home and Away is rubbish.

Anyway enough waffle (or wahfle as Grandma would say).

Anyone noticed how the seats on the northern line are decorated with pictures of one of the Mario brothers? (the one with a moustache).

Laters dudes

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Is it Christmas yet? [Dec. 3rd, 2006|05:00 pm]
[mood |tiredtired]

The weeks are dragging by.... can't believe we don't break up till the 22nd Dec, it's like tourcher (or something spelt simliar)
Very thankfull for a very supportive head of department who says nice things about me and the A-Level trip I have prepared for next week Hurrah!
Some thoughts |I have had:
Marmite is great because it never goes off
I remeber the first CD i bought and the first record I owned - Now 17 and the Wombles album (nad I still know the words to all the songs on them)
How come SKye from neighbours has gone from just pregnant to HUGLY pregnant in about 3 weeks?
And my best moment in the past few weeks? Quoting Bryan ADams in a prayer at house group - by accident - hilllarious!

Is it the holidays now?
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Half term at last...! [Oct. 24th, 2006|05:03 pm]
I have completed my first 1/2 term of teaching! HURRAH, see the fireworks and glitter all over the place!
The first thing I did when I got home on friday night was to count how many weeks to christmas, next term is a killer 8 WEEKS teaching till christmas. With the high probability of OFSTED as well - I should be ok as long as they don't come on a mon or fri as I still can't control 8L!
Meet with a teacher friend for lunch and we comiserated how you just tend to count down weeks and days to holidays or weekends.However we both agreed that we're moving to suburban schools after this so that we can enjoy doing crazy radical things in the classroom like teach.
I have to say it's not all bad though and am being upbeat so here are my top 5 things from this 1/2 term
1] HOD singing "A pizza hut" to year 9 and thier puzzeled expressions
2] Following conversation with a year 9 student
me: Are you a big fan of my work?
Student: What Miss?
me: Well you seem to be collecting all the worksheets I have done so i assumed you were a fan
Student: Yes miss a big fan. I stick them on my wall at home
me: If you ever wnat me to authgraph them just let me know
Student: Actually miss would you mind signing this one now?
me: Sure. Now that can take pride of place on your wall.
Student: Oh no miss, I'm going to sell it on e-bay I'll get loads for it.
3] Asking and watching a year 9 student wiggle his ears - it was amazing.
4] Having two occassions where classes were working in silence when a member of SMT walked in - the headteacher in one case
5] Being told "That was a good lesson miss" at the end of one my histroy lessons - which are generally awful.

Something slightly off the point..... has anyone else noticed that the Northern Line seats are covered with pictures of one of the Mario Brothers?
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Roll on half term [Oct. 14th, 2006|05:20 pm]
[mood |exhaustedexhausted]

I can't believe I've actually nearly completed a whole half term at school, I feel like it's been a life time!
It's really hard to explain how hard it's been - there have been many tears and frustrations and I'm sure there are many to come. However I have got to the poiunt where I have actually had some good lessons! I have actually been able to teach a couple of times instead of just managing behaviour every lesson. Below is a summery of the past few weeks:
I have made 2 children cry
Given 20 detentions
given about 40 monitering slips
marked about 200 books
planned 120 lessons
cried every week for 6 weeks
had 1 oberservation
Got up at 6.30am for 30 days
had about 5 good days
done 1 parents evening and 1 open evening.

Hopefully things can only get better?

On monday i have to teach year 7 about the battle of hastings - I know nothing about this> could be interesting....
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Don't ask.... [Sep. 13th, 2006|05:38 pm]
[mood |depresseddepressed]

I have moved house Hurrah.

The move was awful and stressful - that's what happens if you're flat's not finished when you move into it. Last week was a nightmare with starting school and phoning the builders EVERYDAY to ask if the electricity/lights/shower could be fixed/installed today. School is HORRID the children are mean and don't like me -but I don't like them either! Never mind, it will get better after I have given a few detentions and generally been harsh teacher no-one likes.

I look to half-term......
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